Forty Days: Day 34

Not even a year ago (March 26, 2009), I was walking down this school hallway in Ovada, still lost and confused. I was about to graduate then from my 4-year BS Pharmacy course in my university in Manila. We just took a visit in Ovada to take a look at the school and consider the chances of me studying here for yet another year. I never really wanted to study here. What I wanted at that time was to go straight to the U.S. or stay in the country and take up Medicine. Studying in Ovada was so out of the plan. Now, as I’m walking down this hallway again, no longer am I lost or confused. I’m just so confident and thankful that I made the right decisions. Thanks to Dean Eva, the gates are open. Everything’s up to me now.

***

Meet Auie, the Red Doggie!

Auie, the Red Doggie!

Because we’re already flying back home tomorrow, Goldie gave Audrey and me a farewell gift. To Audrey, she gave little Breadou, and to me, she gave a red stuffed doggie which from now on I will call Auie!

***

Have I really been kind? Last week, Ate Inday told me that because I’m the kindest tenant in the dorm, the landlady won’t anymore charge Mommy a transient fee. Now she won’t let me pay the electricity!

Forty Days: Day 31

Kimmy introduced me to Ian Choe’s music. Ian Choe is a Korean residing in Massachussetts, and is a friend of 2PM’s Nichkhun. Let’s welcome him to YouTube by watching his very first video:

***

I used to think that Goldie is happy because she’s got almost everything a person could dream for: money, parents who are doctors, a big house, iPhone, credit card, etc. But I was wrong. She said that all of these, she doesn’t really want. What she really wants is to be best at something so that people won’t compare her with others anymore. Her parents always compare her with her brother who’s always a dean’s lister, and the college org which she handled before always compares her with the new president who managed to grab them an award for community service—one thing Goldie failed to do during her term.

During a lunch date at McDonald’s with Kpop Lover and Audrey last week, we talked about our dreams and the means on how to achieve them. We also talked about our sad issues and who may be the saddest person in our dorm.

I thought of all of my dormmates and realized that each of them is sad in one way or another. Veronica is sad because she’s not close with her parents and as a result, can’t open up her feelings to them. Goldie is sad because she’s always being compared with her siblings and orgmates. Unni is sad because there are a lot of things to do and too little time on her hands. Kpop Lover is sad because her mom expects her to watch over her little brother and take responsibility for their pharmacy. Audrey is sad because she still doesn’t have a US visa. Jobie is sad because she’s leaving for the States on July and will have to leave her non-US-citizen mom behind. Ruffa and Gretchen are still a mystery to me but I think they’re sad too.

While I was sweeping the floor just moments ago, I thought all those things over, and realized that even though I’m not rich like most of them, I may actually be the happiest person in the dorm.

***

Kpop Lover flew to Manila tonight. Tomorrow, she and her family will be flying not to Korea but to Thailand.

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Dear Goldie

December 18, 2009 (20:38)

Dear Goldie,

You’re one of the sweetest persons I know. Hope you’ll never change. I’m really grateful that we crossed paths again in Ovada since we were never close way back in college. Thanks for being so nice to me. I was really touched when you came into our room one night just to share your dream (about “him”) with me.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Friends forever!

Love,

The Silent Spectator

PS: I’m sure you’ll receive a greeting from “him” this Christmas! And I’m looking forward to visiting your blog soon! ☺

Dear Unni

December 18, 2009 (19:46)

Dear Unni,

You may not know it but I’ve learned a lot of things from you. I love my profession now more than before, and you contributed greatly to that. It’s just amazing how everything you say makes a lot of sense. You’re one of my inspirations. I will always look up to you. Thanks for all the help!

Have a wonderful Christmas and a happy New Year!

I “heart” you! ♥

Love,

The Silent Spectator

Dear Friend

Tonight in the dormitory, we exchanged gifts among ourselves. We drew lots a couple of weeks ago and I picked Audrey’s name. Funny thing was that she even accompanied me to buy my gift, not having a single clue that it was her who I picked.

We were both in tears when I gave it to her. It was a very cute cool diary with purple checkered skin. I so love it! I honestly wanted to keep it for myself, but I wanted to inspire Audrey to keep a diary too. Moreover, she was the one who picked that design.

(I know it looks just like a piece of tablecloth in here but I swear you'd definitely want one when you saw it for real!)

On the first page of the diary, I wrote a message for Audrey, wishing her a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, and thanking her for everything she’s done for me, like singing Korean songs with me, studying notes with me, sharing her food with me, and simply for just being there. Audrey is a dear friend. ☺

Bullets

It must be that emotions have mouth too, because they’re the ones speaking for me right now. Why is it that when a person gets involved in an issue, her friends tend to be the most affected?

It’s odd how it took us more than sixteen hours to let everything sink in. Everything they said last night hit her like bullets, yet she managed to keep her poise and bearing. Moments later, I went to her room and saw her crying. She was crying so hard she couldn’t even speak. The bullets had started to sink in.

Their accusations were priceless. I never imagined they could come up with something like those. How she managed to take all of it, I do not know. Now she’s starting to forgive and forget. I had nothing to do with it but it seems like I couldn’t let go. I think it’s unfair for her to just forgive them that fast. Fine, I’m evil.

It’s just surprising how they had connected every detail and kept everything for so long. They said it started last August. So how about all those times in between? The friendship, the company, the kindness they’d shown—they were all fake. How could they be sincere to her and against her at the same time?

She said she’s grateful that last night did happen. I also am. Indeed it is only in tough times that we recognize our true friends.